Earthling Anthropology

The Case of Luke and Natalie

“Is this the moment?” Kel-in asked. “The culmination of their courting ritual? The romantic merging of the bodies! The formation of the beast with two backs?” A sense of pride washed over him.

“It seems like we are on the precipice of such a momentous occasion!” Que-sik said, holding her research partner in ecstatic anticipation. “Over a year of courting has all led to this moment! We will finally have documented footage of Earthling mating rituals from start to finish!” 

“And,” Kel-in grinned, “with the extra sensors and cameras we’ve expensed, we’ll have far more comprehensive data on Earthling sexual intercourse than any Vendromion before us!”

The two pale blue, slightly luminescent anthropologists from the planet Vendrom—just two galaxies over from the Milky Way—sat in their cloaked spaceship and watched the two Earthling subject at the end of what Kel-in and Que-sik had identified as “a date” by earthling standards (a few hours at the arcade, followed by a dinner at a nice restaurant, followed by the viewing of a movie—horror genre—at a public theater). Now, the two subjects of observation—Luke and Natalie—were sitting in Luke’s car in a secluded parking lot next to Natalie’s apartment.

“Didn’t you say that Earthlings normally copulated in their homes? Namely their bedrooms?” Que-sik asked.

“These are working-class college students,” Kel-in explained. “They lack a truly private space, given the fact that they share their rooms with fellow college students. In these instances, it is believed that Earthlings will make uses of vehicles, out-of-the-way public bathrooms, or even removed areas of a public park to copulate.”

“Oh, this is truly exciting!” Que-sik said. “A year’s worth of observational study, living on Earth away from our families and friends, all leading up to this moment!” She stared at the ship’s monitor that displayed Luke’s car from four different angles. “Wait…what’s happening?” 

“They both seem to be getting out of the car,” Kel-in said. “Perhaps they have decided to copulate in Natalie’s apartment after all.

“Or perhaps the nearby park,” Que-sik speculated.

The two Vendromions watched as Luke and Natalie embraced in what any normal earthlings would describe as an awkward and brief hug—but to the alien anthropologists was just “a hug”—before Natalie began walking down the street towards her apartment while Luke lingered a for a bit before getting into his car and turning on the engine.

“They’re parting ways! Parting ways!” Que-sik’s voice raised in alarm as anticipation turned to horror.

“What’s happening? What…this isn’t at all what the previous data would suggest!” Kel-in’s voice was filled with dismay as thoughts of failure flooded his mind.

Luke lingered for a moment before getting back into his car. The engine of his two-seater Honda Civic rumbled to life just before Kel-in unconsciously flipped an ominous red switch on the spacecraft's driver’s console. Suddenly, the twenty-block radius around where their spacecraft was hovering—about fifty feet above the parking lot where Luke and Natalie had said their good-byes—went completely dark and Luke’s car died with a pathetic putter.

Que-sik turned to Kel-in with terror stricken across her face. “What are you doing?”

“I…I don’t know, I just…I panicked,” Kel-in said. “But…we can’t let this…We’ve spent too much of our research grant to have this fail.” 

Natalie stopped for a moment to adjust to the pitch darkness around her. She looked around instinctively to see if there was any hazards—downed power lines or a fire—she could see and just then, she was enveloped in a blinding light. The next thing she knew she was sitting on a white bench in an all-white room next to Luke. The walls and ceiling were covered in rhomboidal tiles that glowed ever so slightly as certain ceiling tiles cast light into the room.

In front of them sat two relatively small humanoid forms. Their skin was a pale slightly luminescent blue, their eyes were completely black—seemingly devoid of pupils. One had long silver hair that was tied up in a bun behind their head while the other had short silver hair that seemed to stand straight up. Both sat in their own padded lounge chair dressed in large white lab coats that covered modest black clothes underneath. Both were staring intently, eyes moving from her to Luke and back again. One held a grey touchscreen tablet that she scribbled notes and observations onto.

“Fear not Earthlings,” Kel-in said. “We mean you no harm. We are anthropologists from the planet Vendrom, two galaxies removed from your Milky Way, here on earth to study your species and your culture.”

“Aliens are real?” Luke whispered to himself. “Aliens are real!” There was an excitement in his voice that made Natalie think he didn’t quite understand the gravity of their situation.

“Are you hearing us in your language?” Kel-in asked. “I am learning myself, but the translator in the room should be translating things smoothly.” He pointed to a large half-sphere mounted to the center of the ceiling.

Luke and Natalie nodded—Natalie trying to size up her captors.

“We mean you no harm,” Que-sik explained, noticing Natalie’s reticence. “Under normal circumstances, we wouldn’t intervene. As you probably know, introducing the observer into the experiment skews all possible data from that point. However, we’ve been following you two since your first meeting sixteen months ago and we have some questions.”

“You’ve been…watching us?” Luke asked, amazed and confused. Natalie unconsciously covered herself and turned away, feeling uncomfortable.

“We apologize,” Kel-in said. “It must sound extremely invasive, a violation of your privacy. For that we cannot say we haven’t been watching you around the clock, but it was all done for the sake of better understanding your species.” This didn’t make Natalie feel better.

“Why have you been watching us?” Luke asked.

“Well, we specialize in alien courting and mating rituals,” Kel-in explained.

“While exploring college campuses for a proper set of subjects for our study, we happened upon the moment you two met in that, am I saying this right, boba shop?” Luke nodded in affirmation and Que-sik looked relieved.

“You have…questions?” Natalie asked, slowly processing everything they were saying. “Wait…you thought we were…courting one another?” Luke seemed to suddenly realize this as well and his face turned pale and his mouth dropped.

“We only have a few clarifying questions, then we’ll wipe your memories of this entire event and send you on your way,” Kel-in said in a reassuring tone. He turned to Que-sik. “What was the first question?”

“Wait—” Natalie said, but neither of the aliens heard her.

“What was the goal of tonight?” Que-sik asked. “Natalie, you can answer first.”

There was a long silence in the room, over a minute ticked away as the Vendromions waited for an answer and the two Earthlings stayed silent—each for a different reason.

“Our friendship is none of your business,” Natalie said. “I would like you to send me home now.”

“I understand your hesitation,” Kel-in sighed. “You’re speaking to not only strangers, but extraterrestrials—of which you did not know existed just a few minutes ago—I courted my first partner over two sun cycles ago and it still makes me recoil in embarrassment to this day, I can understand that when talking about your own courting, it can—"

“We were just hanging out,” Natalie felt a frustration boil over inside of her—a culmination of things that had stewed for months now. “It was just a normal hang out, no courting, no mating rituals, nothing, just friends doing friend things—nothing sexual, just platonic friend things.”

“Yeah,” Luke echoed her, “just a normal hang out.”

“So, there was nothing romantic about tonight?” Kel-in asked.

“No,” Luke said quickly. “Of course not.” Natalie looked at him with accusatory eyes, but said nothing.

“Given all our own research and the research gathered from others,” Kel-in looked down at the tablet as if he were reading something, “Two hours at the arcade, followed by an above average dinner—decidedly higher quality than your normal dinner dates,” Kel-in stopped himself. “My apologies ‘hang out dinners’, followed by a movie, followed by a scenic drive along the coast, followed by an hour-long conversation in Luke’s car while parked in a secluded area, normally are the components of a romantic date, are they not?”

“Well…” Luke was thinking.

“They are, but they don’t have to be,” Natalie answered. “We’re just friends, so when we hang out, it is as friends, not lover or people in a relationship.”

“So,” Que-sik scratched notes down onto the tablet with her finger. “This was just a normal hang out between the two of you with special exception of the restaurant and the movie? You don’t normally watch a movie together…or take a scenic drive along the coast for that matter.” 

Natalie nodded in agreement, but didn’t say anything.

“Nope,” Luke said. “Well, I mean, yes, those are these we usually do not do, but I mean, I was trying to find new things for us to do, always doing the same thing would be boring, right?”

Que-sik looked down at her tablet. “What does this mean?” She showed the tablet to Kel-in.

“Our scans show that whenever we’ve asked you about the goal of the night or the differences between tonight and other nights, Luke, you’ve pursed your lips, your left eye twitches, and your face is flushed. Our sensors also detect a rise in heart rate. It seems that you are lying, or at least withholding information.”

Natalie turned to look at Luke and he quickly moved to avoid her gaze. “Uh, well, no, I mean, I guess I can’t disprove your sensors, but today was strictly just a hang out, nothing else, no ulterior motives or anything, none.” Luke waved his hands nervously as he spoke.

“You’re lying,” Natalie said, now staring intently at Luke. “You’re a bad liar, I can tell when you’re doing it.”

“I…I am not,” Luke said straightening his back. “You can’t prove that I am…well, except for all the sensors…but it’s not what you think it is, it wasn’t…”

“Our sensors are telling us you’re lying right now,” Kel-in said, staring at the tablet’s incoming information. “Is there a reason you don’t feel comfortable speaking freely here?”

“Luke…” Natalie looked away uncomfortably, “we talked about this, you know—”

“It wasn’t that,” Luke held up his hand. “It definitely wasn’t me doing…that.”

Natalie looked to Kel-in.

Kel-in look at his screen and nodded. “He’s telling the truth, even though I’m not sure what he’s talking about.”

Luke began to fidget and perspiration formed along his brow. He shook his head—a nervous tick he had—and closed his eyes.

“Note this down,” Kel-in motioned to Que-sik, “perhaps it is a courting technique we’ve not observed yet.”

“Luke,” Natalie was unsure if she wanted to ask, but it seemed as if the aliens weren’t going to let them go if she didn’t. “What is going on?”

“Nothing,” Luke shook his head nervously. “Like I said, tonight was a hang out between friends, that is all.” Natalie stared into Luke’s eyes disapprovingly. Que-sik checked the sensors, cameras, and sound recording devices they had rushed to set up in the room, making sure everything was still working and picking up everything they were saying as well as recording Luke and Natalie’s body language.

Luke closed his eyes and sighed, wishing the silence would end, wishing this was all a dream and he could wake up in his bed right now, but even after a long silence, accented by his own heart beating, he was still trapped in this white room talking to two blue aliens. “Tonight…” he felt his heart drop. “Tonight was going to be the last time I ever saw or talked to Natalie.”

There was a long silence before Kel-in and Que-sik’s spoke in unison. “What?”

“What?” Natalie said moments later, her face a mixture of confused and furious.

“Wait,” Kel-in brought his hand up to his face and scrunched it in deep thought. “We thought you two were courting each other. Normally that doesn’t end in parting ways forever.”

“Earthlings do uphold the concept of break-ups and divorce,” Que-sik whispered to Kel-in.

“Well, yes,” Kel-in rubbed his temples, “but usually that comes after a romantic relationship and a series of actions that cause the relationship to deteriorate, or at least an agreed upon dating phase.” He closed his eyes. “And normally there’s a conversation where one explains their intent to cut off contact, correct?” He looked to Que-sik.

“That’s what the previous studies have shown,” Que-sik nodded, “yes.”

“Yeah,” Natalie’s voice was filled with outrage, “usually there is a conversation before a good friend completely ghosts another.”

“Ghosts…” Kel-in said slowly, analyzing the word in this context. He turned to Que-sik who shrugged and shook her head.

Natalie’s stare drilled holes into the side of Luke’s face.

He sighed. “I thought it was for the best.”

Natalie was angry. “You weren’t even going to tell me?”

“What do you want me to say?” Luke asked. “Or was I the only one feeling weird after…? I know you pulled away too.”

Natalie said nothing.

Kel-in shook his head. “Okay, wait, so there were never any romantic feelings between the two of you?”

Natalie stayed silent while Luke seemed to grow smaller as he turned his face down towards the ground.

“Okay,” Kel-in said. “How about we start at the beginning?” Luke was about to protest, but Kel-in stopped him. “Let’s just try.” He looked to Que-sik. “These two met in a…Tastea, correct?”

“Yes,” Que-sik affirmed the statement. “It is an Earthling retail store that specialized in fruit-flavored caffeinated drinks. The subjects, Luke and Natalie met on January fifteenth, a week into the spring semester of Luke’s second year and Natalie’s first. They had both come directly from an elective course on urban legends and folklore, a class which they shared.”

“So, what were your impressions of each other?” Kel-in asked. “And what caused you to decide that this other person could be more than a classmate?” 

Luke looked to Natalie and she just stared back at him. He sighed. “I guess I’ll go first. I…didn’t really know what to think,” he said. “I usually try to avoid people in general, so I didn’t really expect a girl to come over and talk to me, especially one that wasn’t looking for homework answers.” A somber look came over his face. “It was surprising…and nice…”

“Is that when you decided you wanted to be more than classmates?” Que-sik asked.

“Uh, no,” Luke said. “Normally, friendships take more than a first impression. I mean, we had a super cool talk and all and I had a good time, but I don’t really ever expect people to come back for a second conversation, so I try not to expect anything from just one interaction.”

“What about you Natalie?” Kel-in asked.

“Well,” She said. “I…I don’t know why I talked to Luke really. I remember he disagreed with the commonly accepted view of one of the folk stories we discussed in class and I thought he felt like a kind person. I guess that’s why I felt like I could talk to him.”

“So it seems like we were on the right track at that point,” Kel-in said to Que-sik. “Let’s move on—”

“One question,” Que-sik said, eyes intently examining the notes on her tablet. “You had gone through what you yourself describe as a ‘painful’ break-up five months prior to meeting Luke, which resulted in bed rest and binge-watching Korean dramas. It seemed as if you were recovering well until winter vacation, when you ran into your ex-boyfriend at a birthday party—which caused you to spend several days sleeping into the afternoon and watching more Korean dramas. Our hypothesis for why you approached Luke was that you had finally recovered completely from this break-up and were now ready to find another mate. Were we correct in this assumption?”

“No,” Natalie said. “I was not looking for a mate when I met Luke.”

“I don’t think there’s a correlation between the two,” Luke agreed. “I mean, I think it can take a while to get over someone, five months is not that long a period of time to get over a broken relationship. Her talking to me doesn’t exactly mean Natalie was over her ex.”

“So I was right,” Kel-in said. “It was what Earthlings call ‘a rebound’.”

“No,” Natalie said. “It wasn’t that either. We were just friends, that’s it. I can have new friends even while working through a break-up. We started out as friends and…” The room was silent for a moment before Natalie turned to Luke. “Why aren’t you saying anything? We’re friends, were friends, I guess…it wasn’t like I picked you out to be a rebound.”

“I don’t think you consciously decided I would be a rebound,” Luke said, “and I didn’t really realize it until recently, but looking back, it kinda feels like it was.” Luke looked down, uncomfortable. “But I don’t think you did it on purpose, you just weren’t over him, which is completely understandable. One of my biggest regrets was not seeing how much pain you were in and getting wrapped up in my own thoughts instead.”

“It wasn’t a rebound,” Natalie declared. “I was…I’m not like that.”

“It’s not a judgment on your character,” Luke said. “It was a four-year relationship, anyone would have the same reaction.”

There was a long silence with Luke looking at the ground and Natalie staring angrily at the wall.

“Let’s move on,” Kel-in said. “I want to talk about April 21st of last year, roughly three months into the relationship.”

Luke sighed, already knowing the significance of that date. Natalie strained herself to remember that night, but could not.

“You two had hung out that day. Normal routine by that point: dinner and then a few hours at the arcade in the mall,” Kel-in listed from their notes on the tablet. “The night ended with a nice walk around the park near Natalie’s apartment and then you two parted ways like normal.”

“What’s so special about that night?” Natalie asked.

Kel-in looked to Luke. “From this point forward there was a marked change in Luke’s mannerisms around you.”

“Oh,” Natalie said. “April? But that was…Oh.”

“What?” Que-sik asked. “What did you think of just now?”

“That was the night I caught feelings for Natalie,” Luke admitted. “But I didn’t confess until November.”

“You confessed?” Kel-in said, surprise written across his face. Que-sik was equally as shocked. They turned to each other. “How did we not see?”

Que-sik scoured the tablet’s database. “If it was in November, there were a number of nights in which atmospheric weather interfered with our drones and other observational devices. Overall, six nights in November, only two of which we noted that Luke and Natalie were together…” Her face dropped as she turned to Kel-in. “We missed the confession…”

“Two nights in November…” Kel-in was stunned for a moment before shaking his head and turning back to the Earthlings. “We’ll get to that part.” He turned to Luke. “When you realized you had feelings for Natalie, did you immediately decide to start courting her?” 

“Uh…well,” Luke thought to himself. “I wanted to make sure she liked me too. We were friends at that point and confessing to a friend can have very…bad consequences.”

“But you had hope that she did,” Que-sik said.

“Yeah,” Luke looked uncomfortable. “I mean, in retrospect, I think I was just telling myself what I wanted to hear and seeing what I wanted to see. I don’t think she ever actually liked me, which became extremely apparent later on.” He made a wry chuckle.

“So you were completely oblivious to Luke’s change?” Kel-in turned to Natalie.

Before Natalie could speak, Que-sik chimed in. “Of course she noticed, even we, aliens to this planet, could tell.”

Luke felt a heat spread across his face and he looked away.

“I…noticed,” Natalie admitted.

“What did you do when you figured it out?” Que-sik asked.

“Well, umm, nothing,” Natalie said. Que-sik and Kel-in both looked at her strangely. “What was I supposed to do? I didn’t have any romantic feelings for Luke. And he didn’t say anything about it. I wasn’t gonna bring it up just to put him down.”

Luke wished he could disappear.

“All I could do was stay quiet and just hope he got over it, right?” Natalie said. “It’s not like I could suddenly develop feelings for my friend. So, I ignored it and hoped he wouldn’t ever bring it up.”

Kel-in sighed. “So, what day did you confess?”

Luke thought about it. “Two weeks after Halloween? So, middle of November.” Natalie nodded in agreement. “There was a storm that night and we got soaked running to my car, I remember. I stupidly parked really far away from the arcade and we had to run through the parking lot.”

“I remember this,” Que-sik said, her eyes wide. “When our instruments came back on that night, Luke was crying in his bedroom.”

Luke nodded, his face fully red now, right eye twitching as he tried to keep his face indifferent. “Cool, definitely not a detail we needed to hear, but cool nonetheless.” 

Que-sik looked proud of herself for remembering the night.

“What happened?” Kel-in asked.

“I couldn’t help myself, and fucked up,” Luke spat out.

Natalie looked over at Luke. “He didn’t fuck up…Yes, he confessed to me when I wasn’t into him and I had to turn him down and then our relationship got weird, but I’ve had a crush before, sometimes you can’t control yourself and you just have to say it. It’s brave when someone can make themselves vulnerable like that.”

“But you wished he never did,” Que-sik said. “You never wanted him to admit his feelings.”

“Well…yeah, I didn’t want to have to reject him.”

“What actually happened?” Kel-in asked, looking at Luke.

Luke was silent for a while, but decided there was nothing else to be embarrassed of. “I, well, I think we had a good time at the arcade, I actually won a crane game and got her this garlic character plushie. Then, it started raining and we had to run to the car and we were all soaked and…I don’t know, my heart started beating super hard and it got hard to breathe and…” Luke scratched uncomfortably at his own face. “And then I just blurted it out, like an idiot. I didn’t even know I was gonna do it, it just happened like…well, whatever. Then she rejected me as kindly as she could, I dropped her off at home and drove around for a long time before going home.” 

“But you guys were texting the next day,” Kel-in said. “From what we know of Earthlings, that’s not common.”

“That’s my fault, I think,” Luke said. “I think after she rejected me Natalie said she wanted to stay friends if I could handle that and—after coming to my sense I was just super embarrassed—so I called her up later and told her I did want to stay friends.” He shook his head. “That’s really probably when I should have called it quits…”

Natalie looked down and away, but stayed silent.

“So, now I guess we understand what triggered Luke’s second change in behavior,” Kel-in observed, staring up in thought. Que-sik nodded while taking notes.

Luke closed his eyes and hung his head low.

“How did you feel when Luke asked you to be friends again?” Que-sik asked.

“I…I didn’t want to lose him as a friend,” Natalie said. “But I also didn’t want to hurt him, and I know what it’s like to be around someone you like, but who doesn’t like you back. Sometimes you do stupid, impulsive things with the one-percent chance hope that it will work in your favor.” Natalie glanced at Luke for a moment before looking away. “I’m not saying he lied about wanting to be friends again. I know he was being earnest, but I don’t think he even knew what he was agreeing to.” She sighed.

“Sometimes no matter how hard you try it doesn’t work out the way you want it to,” Luke said, still staring at the ground. “And being around a person, being reminded of why I liked that person, but also that she didn’t feel the same way…that’s…rough.” 

“I wanted him to get over me,” Natalie said. “But I didn’t know what about me had caused him to like me in the first place, so I…I guess I subconsciously started distancing myself. What else could I do? I couldn’t act like myself around him when something could trigger his feelings, but all I could do was act like myself, or some version of myself.”

“I’m sorry,” Luke said, looking at Natalie. “I really screwed things up…”

“You didn’t,” Natalie said, “it’s just…”

“I did,” Luke said. “I really did, I mean, really, I’ve never felt like this before and I was losing control, I could feel it. The constant texting, the unstable mood, I was always telling myself to stop, but in the next moment I couldn’t hold myself back. And it felt like you were growing colder and colder every day, which fed my insecurities, which made me more and more impulsive and stupid. I just…I couldn’t handle it even though I knew there was nothing else you could do.”

Silence fell across the room once again.

“Is that what you guys were talking about on…” Que-sik checked her notes. “March 24th?”

Luke nodded.

“Yes,” Natalie said.

“About two weeks ago, I brought it up again,” Luke shook his head. “I shouldn’t have but…I brought it up cause, at that point, I really didn’t know how she felt about it. We never really talked about it after that one time and she just felt distant, which I guess I could have inferred to be uncomfortable, but she seemed to want to stay friends. I’m sorry, Nat. I really am. I tried so many different things to get over you…”

“What happened?” Kel-in asked. “Is this conversation on the logs?”

“Perhaps it is best if you two explain that night,” Que-sik spoke, now in a somber tone.

“I just asked her how she felt about our relationship,” Luke said. “I didn’t really know what I wanted out of the answer, but I just thought that the answer would help our relationship…or us…or me.”

“I just said that I still didn’t have feelings for him.” Natalie said.

“You said that whatever I was going through was something I needed to do on my own and that you didn’t have anything to do with it,” Luke said. A hurt echoed in his voice, but he tried to smother it. “I was hard to hear at the time…but in reality, it was true. I needed to fix myself on my own, no one else was going to do it for me, so that’s why I decided to end it. Our friendship, or whatever it turned out to be.”

“I didn’t mean we should stop being friends or talking to each other,” Natalie spat back, her voice was trembling with a mixture of injury and anger. “You were just going to…to abandon me?”

“I…” Luke looked up at Natalie, but then turned his head back down to the ground.

“What are you getting out of the relationship at this point?” Kel-in asked Natalie. “It seems, from what we understand, the last five months have been uncomfortable, even stressful for you.”

Natalie was quiet for a moment. “I’ve said this before and I really mean it. Luke understands me in a way that not many people can and there were moments, even after things got awkward, when he gets out of his own head and we talk and it makes me feel…cared for.”

Luke closed his eyes. 

“What about you?” Que-sik looked at Luke. “Do you really want this friendship to end?”

“I want to stop being the person who makes Natalie uncomfortable, the person who spirals into a million negative thoughts every time I even think of her, the person who knows he’s not loved by the person he…I think Natalie is a great person, hard-working, kind to her friends, and she definitely tried with me. But, I just…I can’t handle what this has become. And I can’t stop myself from feeling worse and worse every time I even think about her.”

No one spoke for a while after this.

“I think we’ve gathered enough information for an accurate analysis of the situation,” Kel-in said. He looked to Que-sik. “Don’t you agree?” He stood up from his chair. “Why don’t we send you back to your lives and you can forget this night ever happened.” He took the tablet from Que-sik’s hands and scrolled to the teleporter controls. 

Luke looked from Natalie to Que-sik to Kel-in and smiled somberly. Natalie refused to make eye contact with anyone.

“Good luck with the rest of your lives,” Kel-in said. “I mean it.”

Luke waved at the two aliens and nodded before he was suddenly standing back in front of his car. He stared towards Natalie’s apartment in silence. Natalie reappeared next to her apartment and turned around to stared into the darkness. She was Luke’s car in the distance just as it rumbled to life and drove off in the opposite direction.

Kel-in sighed as Que-sik fell into the navigation terminal of their spacecraft. She turned to Kel-in. “Did you remember to wipe their memories before sending them off?”

“Oh…” Kel-in didn’t make eye contact. “I…I guess I forgot.”

Que-sik smiled. She could tell he was lying. “Looks like we need a new set of observational subjects. Should I file this case away?”

“No, uh, I’ll do it—later,” Kel-in said, holding onto the tablet. He dropped into his seat and activated the driver’s interface. He felt exhausted and slightly anxious. He turned to look at Que-sik who looked just as tired as he felt. “We don’t have to find new subjects tonight. How about we take the night off?”

“But…we never take a night off,” Que-sik said.

“I think we’ve done enough work for one solar cycle,” Kel-in said. “What say we steal some of that Earthling ice cream they like so much, hack one of their streaming services, and watch a movie?”

“I could watch a movie,” Que-sik smiled.

“Then that is exactly what we’ll do,” Kel-in grabbed the spacecraft controls and their ship shot across the night sky towards the closest ice cream shop.